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WTF? Girl Bitten by Pervert at 'New Moon' Screening
Filed under: New Releases, Celebrities and Controversy, Newsstand
We keep hearing about the annoying Twilight Saga fans and their ever-loyal fandom, but there are other crazies coming out of the woodwork. An ABC affiliate in Michigan reports that while watching New Moon at the Norton Shores theater, a teen girl was harassed and bitten by an old perv while watching the vampire/werewolf blockbuster.It seems that in the midst of a screen full of vamps and wolves, an old, short, white dude believed to be about 45 years old starting throwing "sexual comments" at a 17-year-old girl sitting in front of him. But he didn't just assault her with words. When the movie was over, he decided to give her a taste of the "real deal" and allegedly bit the girl on the neck (lucky for her, he didn't break the skin). Right now, the perv is at large, and the police are asking anyone with any information to contact the Norton Shores Police Department.
Attention pervy men: While it might seem like biting is the new flirting, especially with the hordes of girls begging Robert Pattinson to bite them, you are not RPatt and that is not cool. And for you fellow filmgoers -- don't let the sickos get away, okay? Do you want to worry about who sits behind you or walks too close as you exit a theater?
You can watch the newscast after the jump.
Interracial Harmony: 'Ninja Assassin' vs. 'Blind Side'
Filed under: Action, Drama, New Releases, Fandom
What major movie production features an interracial friendship that defies all the expected stereotypes? Hint: it's not the one starring Sandra Bullock.
On its own merits, The Blind Side is a heartwarming story of the modern South, in which a rich white 40-something woman (Bullock) befriends a poor black teenager (Quenton Aaron). Their relationship develops to the point that the young man feels a part of her family. I agree with our reviewer, Jette Kernion, who described it as "a very good example of a sports-related family film, with quality performances and writing." She also notes the "seeming visual message that the African-American community can't or won't care for their own, and that the saviors here are rich white conservatives." The film is based on a non-fiction account, but it still makes me wonder why, exactly, we needed another film depicting that particular racial dynamic -- beyond providing a great starring role for Bullock and the aforementioned heartwarming elements.
As finely-edged as a new razor blade, Ninja Assassin establishes itself as a contender for "CGI Fu Movie of the Decade" in its very first sequence, gleefully slicing off body parts with the abandon of an extreme gore flick that would satisfy most horror hounds. It rocks back and forth between ponderous philosophical pontifications and riotously preposterous action scenes like a ticking time bomb, exploding in geysers of blood at regular intervals. Our reviewer William Goss was much less taken with the film than I am -- I think it's fair to say he hated it -- so bear in mind that your mileage may vary wildly. However, I feel confident in saying that Ninja Assassin presents a rarely seen relationship: a friendship between two people that makes no mention of their racial differences.
Spin-ematical: New on DVD for 11/24
Filed under: New Releases, DVD Reviews, New on DVD, Home Entertainment
Angels & Demons
The first was met with much critical disdain, but fought back to earn over $750 million at the worldwide box office. Angels & Demons still managed to make money, but less than $500 million (needing worldwide take to even make up for the budget) as Tom Hanks tries to hunt down a symbol-loving murderer. Eric D. Snider called it: "is as overly serious as its predecessor, and poor Mr. Hanks -- the world's most likable man, for crying out loud! -- is still dour and intense." Skip it. Also on Blu-ray.
Add to Netflix queue | Buy at Amazon
Four Christmases
Just as the title implies, Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon are forced to stop avoiding their crazy families and must hit four households over the holidays. In his review, William Goss wrote: "The rest makes for an occasionally amusing, mostly shrill series of encounters with an ensemble that only encourages misanthropic ideals, and maybe if Four Christmases had decided to extend itself beyond white trash targets and projectile vomiting, we could've found ourselves talking about a new Christmas classic right now." Rent it if you want some uncomfortable holiday humor. Also on Blu-ray.
Add to Netflix queue | Buy at Amazon
Funny People
If ever there was a reason why Adam Sandler has been sticking to the ridiculous fluff, this is it -- a dramedy with a lot of heart that couldn't even make back its budget after worldwide release. In his review, Todd Gilchrist said: "Funny People is one of the summer's, if not the year's best films, because it's a comedy that inverts the medium's typical use – effectively revealing feelings rather than concealing them – and invites the audience to share in that discovery." Buy it and give the film some love. Also on Blu-ray.
Read Our Blu-ray Review | Add to Netflix queue | Buy at Amazon
Hit the jump for a peek at Shorts and other new releases...
Watch This: A 'Twilight' Intervention
Filed under: Action, Drama, Romance, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, New Releases, Trailers and Clips
"Team Jacob!" roars a trio of dudes in a bar. Drinks are flowing fast. "A typical horrible Monday just became amazing," gushes a woman who's about to go see a private screening of Twilight: New Moon. The crowd moves from the bar to what looks suspiciously like a high school theater to get amped up for some muscle-bound shirtless werewolf action."C'mon, get out of your seats! Are you ready?" The fans, who are all most certainly of drinking age, are definitely out of their seats and screaming. They're so ready!
"Too bad!" cackles the emcee, and the curtains part to show a young comedian named Skyler Stone who's there to stage an intervention, via FunnyorDie.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you are not going to see Twilight: New Moon tonight." For some reason (I think it has to do with alcohol), the audience is still cheering, but this statement brings a solitary "NO!" Stone continues, "This is a vampire intervention because you clearly don't know what the f*ck a vampire is!" Is that male laughter in the background? Wooing begins. Is this real or is it fake? Stone berates the audience and insults Rpatz with aplomb. Still, the cheering continues!
"Why are you cheering?!" he yells at them. "Do you understand you're not seeing Twilight tonight?"
Will there be a riot? Bloodshed? Will Stone leave the theater intact? Find out what happens after the jump.
Exclusive: Title Track for 'The Road' Soundtrack
Filed under: Drama, Music & Musicals, New Releases, Fandom, Home Entertainment
Cinematical has just received the following title track for Nick Cave and Warren Ellis' original and haunting film score for The Road. It's simple and chilling -- just as any accompaniment to a post-apocalyptic world should be -- full of violin and piano tunes, some wind instruments and sound loops. The soundtrack is being released digitally today over at Amazon, with further digital retailers tomorrow and a CD release to follow on January 12, 2010.We first alerted you to the score back in March, and then to the duo's Soundtrack Collection in September. As you might have gathered, some of us are big Cave & Ellis fans. And rightly so. They provided an award-winning score for John Hillcoat's earlier feature The Proposition (which Cave also wrote), and also scored The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. And of course, that's besides their work in Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, which has memorable cinematic ties to Wings of Desire (before Ellis teamed up with Cave).
Too often these days it's easy to get pulled out of movies due to overly imposing and grandoise film scores desperately trying to yank at emotions, rather than just lightly coaxing the right feel for a particular scene, and Cave and Ellis definitely know how to let simplicity reign. Check out the clip and track list after the jump and grab it over here at Amazon.
Weekend Box Office: 'New Moon' Lives Up to the Hype
Filed under: New Releases, Box Office
Sometimes a movie will consume the internet for weeks before its release, and then turn out to be Snakes on a Plane. This is not one of those times. New Moon didn't set the all time opening weekend box office record, but it came uncomfortably close, and -- holy crap -- it now owns the record for the highest single-day gross ever, a $72 million Friday. Twilight opened to almost precisely half of New Moon's $140 million number, and went on to gross $192 million. The sequel should pass that mark by next weekend. New Moon's staying power is a bit difficult to forecast. On one hand, its grosses may be frontloaded, as is typical when rabid fans of the source material rush out to pack midnight and opening-day showings. On the other, this might just be the kind of film that, even more so than its predecessor, generates repeat business. (Along these lines, I wonder if the egregious objectification of men in New Moon's marketing campaign is a victory for feminism. I vote yes.)
Getting somewhat lost in all the New Moon hoopla is the slightly less dramatic victory scored by the earnest, good-natured tearjerker The Blind Side, which took second place with nearly $35 million, which I suspect is another testament to the enduring box office draw of Sandra Bullock. (As a side note, the enduring box office draw of Sandra Bullock must be a testament to the awfulness of All About Steve, which topped out at $33 million despite her prominent presence.) It was also smart of Warner Bros. to deemphasize the sports angle -- a "football movie" would not have done this well.
More, and the top 10, after the jump.
Review: The Blind Side
Filed under: Sports, New Releases, Warner Brothers, Theatrical Reviews, Family Films
The trailers for The Blind Side triggered my "oh geez, another sports-related Triumph of the Human Spirit" cynicism, and I might not have seen the film at all if I hadn't been assigned to review it. That would have been my loss, and I experienced the lovely surprise of having a movie turn out far more enjoyable than I expected. The Blind Side has no twists or gimmicks other than being a very good example of a sports-related family film, with quality performances and writing.
The movie's title is a football reference, which the voiceover of Leigh Anne Touhy (Sandra Bullock) explains at the beginning. Michael Oher (Quenton Aaron) is sweating out a tough but unspecified situation in an office, when we flash back a few years and meet him as Big Mike. An African-American staff member at a mostly white Christian private school is trying to get his athletic son into the school, and the school's coach also spots some athletic potential in Big Mike, granting him a scholarship. Big Mike has terrible trouble keeping up in school, and when his friend's family stops helping him out, he is virtually homeless -- sleeping in the school gym, eating popcorn left there after events, wearing the same thin clothes daily.
Cinematical Seven: Movies That Start Fights
Filed under: Horror, Independent, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, New Releases, Cinematical Seven
I've been meaning to purchase and wear this t-shirt since I learned of its existence a couple of months ago, but I figured I'd better let the Twilight: New Moon hysteria die down first. It would appear, after all, that openly declaring one's hostility toward the Twilight franchise on one's person, even with a statement as unquestionably correct as "Vampires Don't Sparkle," is just asking for trouble. You do not want to mess with a gaggle of rabid Robert Pattinson fans.
I do not hate the Twilight franchise, actually, though I would like to suggest that the Twilighteers may live to regret sinking so much time and emotion into something so utterly banal. But I seem to be one of the few who occupy the middle ground. Twilight might be the most divisive love-it-or-hate-it phenomenon of the last few years. Not everyone adores Harry Potter, but most people have at least a grudging respect for it; Twilight has as many haters as fawning admirers.
You gotta admit that if you can use a movie to start an argument, it's at least good for something. Here are seven other movies that seem to disproportionately divide the moviegoing population into adoring fans and angry detractors.
1. Titanic - To get the obvious out of the way. It's amazing to me how often people make offhand derisive mentions of Titanic, as if its awfulness were well-established and self-evident. As with Twilight, of course, the surprisingly widespread disdain of this movie is a backlash against its army of obsessive partisans (and from a similar demographic to boot) -- the folks who showed up on local news shows in 1997 bragging about having seen it 16 times in the theater, etc. The fact that Titanic is a fantastic film -- and not really (or at least not only) for the reasons many of its fans think -- tends to get lost in the shuffle, sadly.
Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Filed under: Drama, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, New Releases, Theatrical Reviews
Even the most egocentric or self-important film critic realizes that his opinions and insights aren't going to be agreed with or respected by everyone, but movies like New Moon offer a special challenge in both honesty and humility. Like with any other beloved literary franchise brought to the silver screen, there's already an impassioned fan base eager to see it realized regardless of its quality, and there's also an inherent distrust among them of nonfans who will eventually be analyzing the object of their affection. In which case, a critic must not only manage his own response to the film, perhaps filtering it through some designated demographic or specific audience that's potentially different than him, but gauge the reaction he'll get when he puts pen to paper, if only to be aware of the relevance of his reaction to what the filmmakers were trying to achieve and what those fans really want. Even if he's also got to be completely honest and unmerciful, too.
By virtually all technical measures, The Twilight Saga: New Moon is a superior effort to its predecessor – well-shot, efficiently told, and by all accounts faithful in tone and execution to its source material. But what filmmaker Chris Weitz makes up for in directorial proficiency he lacks in conveying emotional authenticity, which is why it fulfills the expectations of fans and followers of the franchise but nevertheless still falls short of forming something transcendent and meaningful to everyone else.
Does Pattinson's Edward Cullen Make Men Feel Inadequate?
Filed under: New Releases, Celebrities and Controversy, Fandom, Newsstand, Fan Rant
On the heels of speculation that Twilight was making abstinence fashionable comes a very amusing bit of hand-wringing from Details magazine. Reporting from the Ground Zero of Forks, Washington during Stephanie Meyer Day, Details discovered that it wasn't just impressionable teenagers pinning their hopes on Edward, married women were also carrying a torch for the eternal teenager: "Gentlemen, your wives have something they want to tell you. The polite way to put it is that the pressures and demands of running a home in the 21st century have a way of siphoning off the platelets from even the most red-blooded of romantic unions. To be blunt: Life is a grind, and our wives are bored sh*tless. Edward Cullen has, for millions of passion-starved better halves worldwide, become the undead embodiment of everything the contemporary schlub seems to have shed: danger, poetry, strength, speed, eternal devotion, and an insatiable hunger for the jugular."
The modern man is finding it impossible to compete with Edward, and Details worries about the erotic dreams he's spawning in married women. The magazine listens dutifully to female confessions that range from enthusiastic to cagey, and lends sympathy to the wives whose husbands "don't get" Twilight or what it provides. "But with life so crazy, this is my escape - Twilight. Edward. Men get into that comfortable rut once the relationship is there. Life gets so busy ... Men and women both, they lose that need to impress each other."
Peter Jackson Says Spielberg's 'Tintin' is Done Filming, but...
Interracial Harmony: 'Ninja Assassin' vs. 'Blind Side'
Spin-ematical: New on DVD for 11/24_thumbnail.jpg)
Exclusive 'Nine' Poster Premiere!
Exclusive: Title Track for 'The Road' Soundtrack
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